The Slack Diet

I got up this morning just knowing that I had failed this week.
Our calorie numbers crept upwards all week long, with several days ending above 1,000 Calories. I didn’t get out and really exercise every day like I should. We slipped up on carb levels several days. I had a really bad experience with some chicken nuggets leading to 2 hours spent within 5 feet of my bathroom.
So, all things being equal, I just knew that today’s weigh-in would reflect my failures for the week. Instead of holding steady at 224 like I have for the past 3 weeks, I was going to have gained weight. I would be the first recorded example of a weight loss “honeymoon period” that lasted less than 3 months after surgery.
So, of course, when I weighed myself this morning, I came in at 221 pounds.
Isn’t it the damnedest thing? For weeks, you work your ass off, watch everything you eat, exercise religiously, and the scale won’t move.
Then you have a week where you blow the whole thing off, and you lose 3 pounds.
Makes you wonder about the “weight regulator” in your brain, really. Like, are you encouraging me to be a slacker? ‘Cause that is sure the impression I am getting here.
Yes, yes – I know. Changes in metabolic processing, serotonin levels, body adjusting to new intake levels being forced out of “Starvation Mode” – I get it. “Correlation does not imply causation” as the folks with pocket protectors and lots of letters after their names like to say: The fact that my weight loss re-started at the same time as I was peelin’ it does not mean that the two things are in any way related.
But, man, it sure feels that way. Maybe I should try the “lethargy diet” – sit at my desk playing World of Warcraft and eating ice cream for the next week, and see what the numbers look like. You know, for science.
Oh, right – honeymoon period. There is every reason to expect, now that the weight loss has fired up again, that I will lose weight lying on my back and eating Twinkies.
Damn. And it sounded like such a good plan, too.
But, in reality, there is nothing to do but buckle back down this week, hit the weights and the cardio religiously again, be more careful about our meal planning and execution. Get back on that horse and work on the plan we committed ourselves to.
But if I get to next Monday and hit another stall as a result of my “good behavior” I may just tear my hair out.
And I don’t have all that much hair left at this point.
Happy To Finally Be 80 Pounds Down,
– Hawkwind

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