What A fANTabulous Day We Are Having

Las Cruces, NM. Green chili. Old adobe buildings. Scorching heat. (101 degrees today.)

Oh, and an entomologist’s paradise as well.

Last night we hopped into Maggie and discovered our breakfast bar/counter space was covered in ants. Little tiny black ones, merrily anting away, getting into every single drawer, cabinet, and open container of food. (Including some that were supposedly airtight, mind you.)

3 exhausting hours later, we had beaten back the invasion. We had sprayed every outdoor surface with Ant Murder Aerosol. We had washed every dish. We had thrown away two trash bags worth of ruined groceries.

And still this morning, every time an errant breeze wafts over my skin, I slap myself, positive the 6 legged invaders have returned to exact vengeance upon me for their slaughtered kinsfolk.

The management at the RV park has been…less than helpful. When I reported the problem this morning the woman (older, bespectacled, disinterested) behind the counter shrugged and said “It’s that time of year.”

Umm, ok, fine, but what are you going to do about it?

This triggered a series of inquisitorial questions aimed at ME, mind you. Did I spray my tires?

Well, no.

Did I spray my water hose?

Again, no, because –

I didn’t leave food out in the cabinets, did I?

Well, yes, because that’s where dry food GOES, in my pre-ant existence.

Again with the shrug. They would send someone to put out granules. Which might kill my dog. FYI.

I departed seething. How the flip was I supposed to know about spraying down every part of Maggie that was in contact with the ground with ant spray beforehand? Certainly, no one mentioned this to me when I checked in.

At our site, I met a maintenance guy who told a very different story.

We’ve never seen an infestation like this before, he reported. He’d already been to three campsites this morning, dealing with multi-legged, antenna-waving invaders.

I pointed out the origination point near our campsite, a tree about five feet away. He thanked me profusely for tracking down the colony. Apparently, most RVers don’t bother to figure out where they are coming from.

I had performed this investigation as I was following and carpet bombing the little bastards last night, but maybe others don’t take this quite as personally as I do.

Given his attention to detail and promise to come right back if we should have a recurrence, I didn’t begin packing us up and moving on down the road. But I am still pretty pissed with the front desk staff that could not give two shits about my problem and attempted to shift the blame to me for not taking precautions they never bothered mentioning in the first place.

Life on the road. What’s not to love?

I cANT Even,


Third Time’s The Charm

Third Time's The Charm

Really, guys, I’m trying here.

I tried while we were still in Albuquerque for all of February. But there was just so much left to do, between selling the house, learning how the RV worked, fixing everything that broke, etc. So I kept putting it off.

“Vegas.” I kept telling myself. “I’ll get back on track once we are in Vegas.”

But Vegas has been no easier. I kept parking myself in local coffee shops, trying to siphon off their WiFi. Once my coffee was ready and I was settled, though, stuff just kept happening around me. Vegas is no place to focus and write, it turns out, when you are given to watching the human drama unfold around you. I just kept getting distracted.

So, I bought a $10 coffee pot (after swearing I wouldn’t put one in the RV), brewed myself some liquid inspiration, and closed the blinds on all the windows, so I wouldn’t be distracted by all the interesting stories taking place around me here in the RV park.

And here we are. Let’s see if I can manage a coherent thought or two before I am once again called away by the multitude of distractions here on the road.

Two For The Road

In case you’ve come to the party late, we’ve moved!

Melissa and I decided to make a change, bought an RV, put the house up for sale, got rid of 95% of everything we owned, and hit the road. We spent February at Enchanted Trails RV Park in Albuquerque learning the ropes of our new home, then headed for Vegas, where I am currently sitting now. In the dark. Not looking out the windows despite the interesting noises coming from next door where it sounds like our neighbors are getting ready to head out.

There are a TON of stories I could have told you all about the transition of the last four months. In fact, I tried on several occassions to put together a coherent blog post about what was happening.

But blog posts are actually kinda labor-intensive. Back when I was doing one a day it used to take me anywhere from 3 to 6 hours to produce something readable. And that was when I was still in practice.

Now, when my creative muscles have been resting so long that they have atrophied, I’ve been unable to focus for longer than 10 minutes at a time. So I finally gave up and started putting up posts on Instagram instead, just to try to keep friends and family in the loop. (@tjeremyschofield on Instagram if you want to follow along.)

And now, here we sit. We have an RV, two dogs, and an itinerary full of potential destinations. All of which have developed cases of the Coronavirus, of course, because why not.

The Road Ahead

So, the plan is sorta like this:

I fully intend to keep everyone abreast of where we are and what we are doing. I have probably a dozen posts worth of material already if I can just sit down and push them out of my brain and on to the internet.

I will be talking a LOT about RVing, life on the road, our experiences and mistakes. My mother handed me a very nice camera the night of our going-away party so I will be attempting to learn to use it and actually include real, live pictures of the places we are visiting.

Vixen, after dinner in Vegas

Misdirected will still continue to talk about life with disabilities as well. (Did you know how HARD it is to get pharmacies to refill certain prescriptions (like anti-seizure meds) away from your home town? I sure didn’t.) We will probably not be talking much about bariatric surgery any more, though, which will make many of you sad. For the record, we’ve both been losing weight again since hitting the road. Stress and a malfunctioning RV fridge are one heck of a diet combination.

And a BIG thank you to our supporters on Patreon. Last month, you paid to repair our leaking toilet. This month, you’ve just paid for my replacement “thermistor”, which I will be installing in our broken fridge later today, hopefully enabling us to start using non-frozen food again. I’ll be updating Patreon to reflect the new reality of our life on the road Real Soon Now.

And, yes, now that we are no longer spinning around like a demented carousel, I will begin writing fiction again. Be looking for big Ash Falls news in the very near future.

I think I’ve actually managed to finish (for once), so thank you for your continued interest in our ongoing experiences! You can keep track of us on Instagram and Facebook (@Tjeremyschofield), or you can subscribe here to find out when something new and interesting gets posted. We’ll be using the #travelswithmaggie hashtag to note our adventures, so feel free to follow along. (The RV is named Maggie May, yes there is a story, and yes I will share it with everyone soon.)

Traveling With Maggie (And Melissa and Vixen and Delilah),